Love - A pleasurable pain

As she locked her car and walked towards the coffee shop, she saw him. She was shocked for a moment. It has been a year since she met him. She thought he had left the country. She couldn’t believe her eyes. For a moment she thought if she had a mistaken identity but how can her eyes forget the glances that they two exchanged! It was him. Certainly him!

After seconds of hesitation she asked him, “How are you?”
He said, “I am fine.” He then asked, “How are you?”
She did not answer to that question. Instead she asked, “When did you come here?”
He said, “A month back.”
He asked, “How is your husband?”
She preferred not to answer to that as well. She looked at her watch and said, “I am sorry. I have come here to meet a prospect. I am already late. Shall we meet sometime later?”
“Give me your number”, he demanded.
She was hesitant. She said, “I am very sorry. If you can wait here, I will come back and give it to you. I am very late.”

She fled from the scene. She did not wait for him to answer. She knew how to evade from his eyes even if he stood waiting there for her. She did not have any meeting with a prospect there. She had left her sun glasses and a set of keys a few hours back in the coffee shop. She called and confirmed that they were there before she came to collect them. She met the guy in charge of the coffee shop, showed her identity and narrated about the phone call she had with one of the guys to confirm that her stuff were there and finally got them in her hand. She silently peeped from the window to check if he was still waiting there. She could not find him. Something told her that he would still be waiting. She moved her eyes a little far away towards the parking lot. She glanced at every single man possible but none of them matched his identities. She thought it the right time to leave the shop and vanish. She put on her sun glasses and walked out of the coffee shop. To her dismay, he was standing right in front of the door of the coffee shop. He smiled at her. She smiled back sheepishly. He asked, “Met your prospect?”
She paused and then said, “He was in a meeting. My appointment was rescheduled.”
He asked in wonderment, “So soon?”
She did not utter a word. She always knew that he understood her very well. Either her facial expressions and gestures were so very obvious or he was a very good guesser.
He continued, “So you are trying to forget me is it?”
She bent her head down and said, “Do you think I can?”
“Yes you can. You have extra ordinary will power. If I remain out of your sight, you will forget me. I know that. You can overcome any tribulation.”
“Stop it. I am not here to listen to this stuff. I got to go.”
“Then go”, he said politely.
But she did not make a move. She began to cry. She did not want to cry but it was beyond her control.
He said, “Come. Get into my car now.”
She asked wiping her tears from her eyes, “Where?”
“We need to talk.”
“I thought it is all over.”
“Let us talk about what happened during the past one year in each other’s life.”
“I have nothing to say.”
“Fine! But I have lots to tell. Come let’s go.”

She followed him to his car. He has something in him that she listens to him. She did not know what it was. That was his strength.

He started his car and began driving through those busy roads as though he had always been there.

He said, “I missed you.”

She looked at him for a moment with such disbelief and anger and then removed her eyes away from him.

“I saw hatred in your eyes when I said that”, he said

She did not answer.

He said, “When I got an offer again, I instantly accepted it since I thought it would be an opportunity to meet you and soon after landing here I tried calling your number. It didn’t work. You have changed your number is it?”
She said, “hmmm”

He took her to a place which was not unfamiliar to the two. He drove through the grass lands and went towards the direction of the cottage. When she noticed where he was going, she stopped him, “Where are you taking me?”
“To the same old place.”
“No. I am not coming. I want to go now”, she screamed.
He immediately hit the brakes and asked her, “What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing is wrong with me. I do not want to come with you. Drop me near my car and let me go.”
“I just want to talk with you.”
“What if I don’t want to listen to it?”
“I know you want to listen to it.”
“I am not the same old person whom you cheated a year ago. I have changed. I am trying to get over those painful episodes. Please leave me.”
“Have I ever forced you to do something?”
“No. But please leave me back. I don’t want to talk to you any more.”

He paused for a couple of minutes. He then drove back when he knew that her mind cannot be changed. He dropped her at the same place from where he picked her up. She was crying throughout. When they reached the place, she got down rapidly without uttering a word and ran to her car, got into it and disappeared.

She drove home. Her son was playing in the garden. He was happy to see her back from work so early. He ran to her and hugged her. She too hugged him close. She was crying and she wanted a bolster. Her son asked, “Mom, are you crying?”
“No dear. Just that something fell into my eyes. You play. Let Mom take some rest. Is that ok?”
“Ok. But will you take me to the park now?”
“Not now. But certainly today.”
“Thanks Mom!” said the boy and ran to play again.

She ran to her room, switched her mobile off and cried to her heart’s content. She thought of those lovely days that she spent with him. She thought about the happy thoughts the two shared. She thought about all the secret moments that she enjoyed with him. She then thought about the day when the two sneaked towards that cottage and enjoyed being each other’s slave. Yes, for a day she was unfaithful to her husband.

She also thought about those distressing moments when he began avoiding her little by little by telling how bad it is to continue the relationship and how dangerous it could be. She knew she was wrong. But the love that she had for this man was spontaneous and so over powering that her husband was thrown to the back seat. The pleasure that she derived for some days turned into venom as he began avoiding her. He did not have the same love that she had towards him. The heat of passion subsided. She recovered from her mistakes. She cried for almost 6 months. She then came to know that he left the country. She thought that it was a boon in one way since she will not be prompted to call him and speak to him and thus incur pain. She had no means to reach him. He too did not drop down his address to her and that by itself meant that he was not interested in her any more. It pained her a lot. A lot! She went through a hell! Now that he had come again! She did not want to be tormented. She was now very strong. She knew she cannot be lured again. She gained confidence. He was a fascinating lover. She still held sweet thoughts about him but did not want to face the humiliation that she went through sometime back. She felt that avoiding him would be better than falling into his trap once again. Within moments she changed off her clothes and got ready to take her son out to the park. She still loved him though.

Pleasure is followed by pain and pain is followed by pleasure. For some pain is pleasure and for some pleasure could be painful. Sometimes they go hand in hand. All said and done, love is eternal. There can be no obstacle to stop love from being developed. Love cannot be contained. It oozes out automatically. Love may always be associated with pain but the pleasure that it once gave or the hope that it will give some pleasure some day or the other is the key strength of love. A lover may cheat but the love remains true. A lover may go back saying that it is all over but it once was there and the truth that it was pleasurable ever remains to be true. Love, even if expressed just once will never be forgotten. It is pleasure and pain. It could be a lovely feeling!