Love - A pleasurable pain

As she locked her car and walked towards the coffee shop, she saw him. She was shocked for a moment. It has been a year since she met him. She thought he had left the country. She couldn’t believe her eyes. For a moment she thought if she had a mistaken identity but how can her eyes forget the glances that they two exchanged! It was him. Certainly him!

After seconds of hesitation she asked him, “How are you?”
He said, “I am fine.” He then asked, “How are you?”
She did not answer to that question. Instead she asked, “When did you come here?”
He said, “A month back.”
He asked, “How is your husband?”
She preferred not to answer to that as well. She looked at her watch and said, “I am sorry. I have come here to meet a prospect. I am already late. Shall we meet sometime later?”
“Give me your number”, he demanded.
She was hesitant. She said, “I am very sorry. If you can wait here, I will come back and give it to you. I am very late.”

She fled from the scene. She did not wait for him to answer. She knew how to evade from his eyes even if he stood waiting there for her. She did not have any meeting with a prospect there. She had left her sun glasses and a set of keys a few hours back in the coffee shop. She called and confirmed that they were there before she came to collect them. She met the guy in charge of the coffee shop, showed her identity and narrated about the phone call she had with one of the guys to confirm that her stuff were there and finally got them in her hand. She silently peeped from the window to check if he was still waiting there. She could not find him. Something told her that he would still be waiting. She moved her eyes a little far away towards the parking lot. She glanced at every single man possible but none of them matched his identities. She thought it the right time to leave the shop and vanish. She put on her sun glasses and walked out of the coffee shop. To her dismay, he was standing right in front of the door of the coffee shop. He smiled at her. She smiled back sheepishly. He asked, “Met your prospect?”
She paused and then said, “He was in a meeting. My appointment was rescheduled.”
He asked in wonderment, “So soon?”
She did not utter a word. She always knew that he understood her very well. Either her facial expressions and gestures were so very obvious or he was a very good guesser.
He continued, “So you are trying to forget me is it?”
She bent her head down and said, “Do you think I can?”
“Yes you can. You have extra ordinary will power. If I remain out of your sight, you will forget me. I know that. You can overcome any tribulation.”
“Stop it. I am not here to listen to this stuff. I got to go.”
“Then go”, he said politely.
But she did not make a move. She began to cry. She did not want to cry but it was beyond her control.
He said, “Come. Get into my car now.”
She asked wiping her tears from her eyes, “Where?”
“We need to talk.”
“I thought it is all over.”
“Let us talk about what happened during the past one year in each other’s life.”
“I have nothing to say.”
“Fine! But I have lots to tell. Come let’s go.”

She followed him to his car. He has something in him that she listens to him. She did not know what it was. That was his strength.

He started his car and began driving through those busy roads as though he had always been there.

He said, “I missed you.”

She looked at him for a moment with such disbelief and anger and then removed her eyes away from him.

“I saw hatred in your eyes when I said that”, he said

She did not answer.

He said, “When I got an offer again, I instantly accepted it since I thought it would be an opportunity to meet you and soon after landing here I tried calling your number. It didn’t work. You have changed your number is it?”
She said, “hmmm”

He took her to a place which was not unfamiliar to the two. He drove through the grass lands and went towards the direction of the cottage. When she noticed where he was going, she stopped him, “Where are you taking me?”
“To the same old place.”
“No. I am not coming. I want to go now”, she screamed.
He immediately hit the brakes and asked her, “What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing is wrong with me. I do not want to come with you. Drop me near my car and let me go.”
“I just want to talk with you.”
“What if I don’t want to listen to it?”
“I know you want to listen to it.”
“I am not the same old person whom you cheated a year ago. I have changed. I am trying to get over those painful episodes. Please leave me.”
“Have I ever forced you to do something?”
“No. But please leave me back. I don’t want to talk to you any more.”

He paused for a couple of minutes. He then drove back when he knew that her mind cannot be changed. He dropped her at the same place from where he picked her up. She was crying throughout. When they reached the place, she got down rapidly without uttering a word and ran to her car, got into it and disappeared.

She drove home. Her son was playing in the garden. He was happy to see her back from work so early. He ran to her and hugged her. She too hugged him close. She was crying and she wanted a bolster. Her son asked, “Mom, are you crying?”
“No dear. Just that something fell into my eyes. You play. Let Mom take some rest. Is that ok?”
“Ok. But will you take me to the park now?”
“Not now. But certainly today.”
“Thanks Mom!” said the boy and ran to play again.

She ran to her room, switched her mobile off and cried to her heart’s content. She thought of those lovely days that she spent with him. She thought about the happy thoughts the two shared. She thought about all the secret moments that she enjoyed with him. She then thought about the day when the two sneaked towards that cottage and enjoyed being each other’s slave. Yes, for a day she was unfaithful to her husband.

She also thought about those distressing moments when he began avoiding her little by little by telling how bad it is to continue the relationship and how dangerous it could be. She knew she was wrong. But the love that she had for this man was spontaneous and so over powering that her husband was thrown to the back seat. The pleasure that she derived for some days turned into venom as he began avoiding her. He did not have the same love that she had towards him. The heat of passion subsided. She recovered from her mistakes. She cried for almost 6 months. She then came to know that he left the country. She thought that it was a boon in one way since she will not be prompted to call him and speak to him and thus incur pain. She had no means to reach him. He too did not drop down his address to her and that by itself meant that he was not interested in her any more. It pained her a lot. A lot! She went through a hell! Now that he had come again! She did not want to be tormented. She was now very strong. She knew she cannot be lured again. She gained confidence. He was a fascinating lover. She still held sweet thoughts about him but did not want to face the humiliation that she went through sometime back. She felt that avoiding him would be better than falling into his trap once again. Within moments she changed off her clothes and got ready to take her son out to the park. She still loved him though.

Pleasure is followed by pain and pain is followed by pleasure. For some pain is pleasure and for some pleasure could be painful. Sometimes they go hand in hand. All said and done, love is eternal. There can be no obstacle to stop love from being developed. Love cannot be contained. It oozes out automatically. Love may always be associated with pain but the pleasure that it once gave or the hope that it will give some pleasure some day or the other is the key strength of love. A lover may cheat but the love remains true. A lover may go back saying that it is all over but it once was there and the truth that it was pleasurable ever remains to be true. Love, even if expressed just once will never be forgotten. It is pleasure and pain. It could be a lovely feeling!

A Holiday

I borrowed a magazine from a public library this evening that happened to be a holiday special edition. What does a holiday mean to most of the people around the world? When it comes to a holiday for two, expectations increase based on the climate of the proposed place of visit. It is usually weeks of non-stop passionate love making, hand-in-hand strolls among moonlit beaches, sun-bathing, long drives, spa, massages, relaxation, shopping, candle-light dinners, dances and intense, up-all night conversations.

When I read this, I was reminded of the holidays that I had spent in my life so far and how different were they from the ones mentioned above. I grew up as a normal Indian in South India and lived there for nearly 23 years. If I think of the holidays that I had spent prior to my wedding, it was all fun (in a different way though)! Since my parents were working, we had very few days in a year to be spent on a vacation. My Mother always availed her Leave Travel Concession that she was eligible for and had taken us to Bombay several times. Ever since my childhood we have been visiting that place. The reason for choosing Bombay was mainly because my Mother’s 2 sisters and 1 brother stayed there. If we had planned any other location, we would be able to see only a family or two. This worked far more lucrative for us. Vacation for any average Indian means visiting relatives, holy or religious places and a bit of sight seeing. My parents were hardly together even on a vacation. My Father used to be called for work even during vacation and most of the times he had traveled back alone leaving behind my Mom, my sister and me. My Mother relaxes by gossiping about family matters with her siblings and derives pleasure out of it. This is a welcome change to my Mother’s monotonous and stressful work routine. My sister and I had enjoyed our moments with our cousins. We had cousins there more or less in the same age group and that way we had some fun. Towards the end of our vacation, we do a bit of shopping, a visit to few of the famous temples there, a night or two dinners outside and of course a visit to a zoo or museum or any place of some significance to keep us entertained.

On those times when we skipped Bombay, we had visited my Mother’s native place in rural interior Tamil Nadu and had also visited temples in and around those areas quite often. Tamil Nadu in particular is a land of Temples and most of the temples have a unique history of its own and also the architecture is fabulous. Some temples are made out of one single rock and are yet massive. Some temples are known for its beautiful piece of drawings on the roof depicting the culture of those times. Some are constructed with such planning that the beauty of the structure is well revealed. The history behind the construction of every temple and the significance of the deities present in those temples are exceptional. Visitors from all over the world pay a visit to Indian temples. We, being in close proximity to those temples, have made innumerable visits to them. I was born in a family that believes in such visits to temples bring in inner peace and purity and hence we have visited lots of temples. I was very young then. Though I was proud of the vast and rich heritage of Indian temples and the unique history those temples recorded, I still would have personally preferred to go to any location that would interest me.

Sometimes, to attend such special poojas or events at the temple, we need to wake up at 3.30 or 4 in the morning, have bath, and dress up in traditional dresses and rush to stand in the queue to collect tokens or whatever. We skip our breakfast and stand in the scorching heat of mid May in queues to wait for our turn to visit the deity and offer our prayers. By the time, we are back after all these; it would be nearly 8 or 9 in the morning. We then hunt for restaurants that offer good food and then feed our stomach. Honestly, though I believe in the conventional form of worshipping, I cannot afford to starve in the morning after a bath. I never had the guts to talk about my hunger when the rest of them hardly talk about their stomach. Looking back at it now, I feel that our journey had never been pleasant and enjoyable. It had always been tedious since the time span would be short and the distance to be covered would be enormous. The general Indian attitude is to make full use of the money spent for vacation by visiting all the places of significant importance there. Not much consideration is given to personal relaxation or happiness.

In my normal school days, I get up at 7 and during vacation, it is much earlier! Our vacation was planned only by my parents and they wanted it to be the way that suited their time and hence we had to follow suit. We were not asked where we should go for a vacation. We were not asked how we intend to spend it. We simply accompanied them. Vacation was lot more stressful to me and my sister and I preferred to be at home rather than a tight scheduled vacation that was hardly interesting! That way, I lost all my interest in traveling since I had the least idea of what kind of pleasure a travel can give, when it is suited to our requirements. Will I have a holiday different from the ones I had so far? Can a holiday be interesting too? I think that the right company, the right season and the right place could be lot more relaxing than we can ever imagine. I am looking forward to spending my time shortly on a brief vacation which I was not initially interested in but now I feel that I can decide how to spend it the way I really want to since I now have every liberty to choose what I want to do in a vacation. Though I am going to be accompanied by my husband, I do not think he would restrict the way I want to enjoy. He hardly sees me enjoy a holiday so he would only be happy to see me enjoy. For the first time, the thought of a holiday is bringing in pleasure to me.

It could be because it is going to be a holiday from my routine work, a holiday from children and a holiday from house keeping. I love reading. I will read my favourite book in a much desired location for n number of hours without any disturbance. I wish to write my heart’s content in a place filled with scenic beauty. I will feast my eyes with things that I cannot normally treat it with! I will do anything that I like. I will do anything that I haven’t tried before! I will do anything that I haven’t done for long! Will I? Will let you know soon!!!

Awaiting my next life....

Here I am smiling
As I depart from this wretched body
That is completely burnt
By the blazing flames

He blindfolded my eyes
And slit my tongue
Tied up my hands and legs
And threw me into the fire

I couldn’t see the flames
Neither could I scream for help
Nor could I free myself from this.
I simply had to go through the pain

Since I respected his decisions and
Honoured his words,
I enjoyed the burns

After all, he sent me into it!

I am not sure if he loved me
But here I have proved that I love him
I am happily waiting for my next life
Only to meet him!

Waiting to fall in love with him once again
Waiting to embrace him
Waiting to kiss him
Waiting to surrender to him.

All that was impossible in my last life
Will be fulfilled in my new life
Provided he doesn’t send me to fire again!
Awaiting my next life……

Love is sometimes....

Too close yet very far
Too desirous yet dangerous

Too sweet yet venomous
Too tempting yet repellant

Too blind yet alert
Too sensitive yet indifferent

Too meaningful yet baseless
Too clear yet vague

Too obvious yet pensive
Too pleasurable yet uncomfortable

Too strange yet absolute!!!

The Jinx of Solitude

I am alone
Lost and lonely
Walking through the roads of solitude
In search of nothing
But wishing every second to attain the inaccessible you.

I am alone
Lost and lonely
Turning back every other minute
But nobody is following me
Not even my own shadow!

I am alone
Lost and lonely
Love created all the magic
And took it away as it disappeared
Leaving me in twinge.

I am alone
Lost and lonely
What can make my life appealing?
You were not a thing in my life
To get you replaced!

I am alone
Lost and lonely
Isolated and abandoned.
Having experienced your love
No other forms of love seem true to me.

I am alone
Lost and lonely
Youth snatched the glow in my face
Time grabbed the charm and elegance
You seized all that was remaining.

I am alone
Lost and lonely
Carrying nothing with me
Other than those sweet old memories
That I shared with you.

I am alone
Lost and lonely.
I am alone
Lost and lonely.

Flame of Love

The fire of your caress is still not extinguished.
The power of your eyes is still not forgotten.

The wetness in my cheek has still not vanished.
The warmth of your hands has still not disappeared.

The feel of your lips is still not expunged.
The tears in my eyes have still not dehydrated.

The influence of your words is still not discarded.
The command of your voice is still not eliminated.

The strength of your actions is still not erased.
The palpitation of my heart is still not subdued.

The sorrow of your departure is still not digested.
The supremacy of my love for you can never be exterminated.

This is what you are!

You are my joy
You are my sorrow

You are my strength
You are my weakness

You are my smile
You are my tears

You are my thoughts
You are my calmness

You are my success
You are my failure

You are my nectar
You are my poison

You are my breeze
You are my storm

You are my love
You are my loss.

Pigeon's cries on a Friday

Oh Mistress of the house!
Envy not at me
I have nothing that you have
Except that I can fly.

Flying is not enjoyable at all!
It is very tiring
And extremely exhausting
To go in search of food.

Sometimes I spot some food from above
And by the time I land
My brothers finish them off
Leaving a morsel or two for me.

Sometimes I prefer walking around
So that I can grab food the moment I see it
But unfortunately, I am shooed away by your brothers
In fear for my life, I am forced to fly away.

I have no occasions to celebrate
Every day is the same as the previous day
No Christmas, no New Years
No Birthdays, not even week ends!

I have no taste buds
I have no sense to identify food;
Good or bad; hot or cold.
Serve me anything and I am happy.

I saw food waiting for me everyday on your kitchen window
I was glad that there is somebody to care for me
I gathered my family members one day
To share about this secret.

It somehow reached the ears of many other birds
That we all began fighting for the little food your offer
I was happy that you understood our problem
And began sharing larger portions of your food!

But Madam Friday is your week end and not mine!
Do you want to know what do I go through every Fridays?
Some Fridays I wait for a longer time,
Some Fridays I am simply forgotten,
Some Fridays I am served something different,
Some Fridays I just fly back losing patience.

It may look a bit too much for you,
But may I request you something?
Can you offer me food everyday at the same time?
I understand that you rejoice and have fun on Fridays
Try sharing your happiness on weekends with me
By offering anything that you can spare for me!

Oh My Dear Mr. Burning Sun!

Oh my dear mighty ball of fire
That appears to me like a brave man!
Fearlessly rising and setting
Unmindful of the happenings around!

Did I fall for your bright face?
Or for your golden rays?
Or for your shining grace?
Or for your cosmic embrace?

Though I am aware of your eternal presence in the world
Only recently did I realize how overpowering you are
Sleeplessly I am waiting for every new day to begin
To watch you rise up, shine on me and then fade away

However powerful your gaze may be,
I still refuse to shrink my eyes off your stare.
Least am I affected by your scorching heat,
‘Coz I thoroughly enjoy your warmth on me.

I am hardly concerned that you will tan my skin off
‘Coz I am already brown.
I am not bothered that you will dry me away,
‘Coz I am already withered every night.

I am aware that you are far beyond my reach.
I realize how happy you are in your own galaxy.
I also know that you cannot come to me and
I too have no ladder high enough to attain you.

I know how important you are to this world
Even a day’s off will interrupt the entire universe!
From the tiny seed to the mighty ocean
Every action requires your attention.

At night time when the world is sleeping
You are still working though not in my arena
So when is the time that we will get to meet?
Oh my dear busy lover?

But I am desperate to contact you
And express my admiration for you.
When nobody can afford to miss you
Am I not crazy to thrust a soulful love upon you?


You have become absolutely unreachable
Even with the latest inventions of technology.
Neither can I text you nor can I phone you
How do you think I can ever achieve you?

Let me ask you if we will ever meet?
Will I ever touch you?
Will you ever acknowledge my love?
Do you have many more petitions like this? Tell me honestly, you fiery Sun!

What answer have you for this creature
Who has soft feelings for a blazing thing like you?
Why don’t you darken the cosmos for a day?
And come personified to secretly kiss me?

Waiting for a New Dawn

Waiting for the sun to rise
Waiting to see and hear
Waiting for clarity in thoughts
Waiting for the decisions

Waiting to know about the future
Waiting to understand the truth
Waiting to remove the burden
Waiting to be bolstered

Waiting for a new beginning
Waiting for a brighter verve
Waiting to maintain a steady mind
Waiting for those last moments.

Tough Decisions

Approached him with a query
Requested him for a solution
He provided me with an option
To choose between -
Suicide and Murder;
Burying and Cremating;
Conspiring and Plotting;
Smuggling and Burglary;
Treason and Trespassing;
Drugs and Poison.
What should I choose!

A Converstaion Within

I asked him “Who are you?”
He said “Ask yourself”.

I asked him “Where are you?”
He said, “In everything that you perceive; in everything that you touch; in every breath you take and leave.”

I asked him, “How will you be like?”
He said, “I have no form or shape. I am within you whether you realize it or not.”

I asked him, “Why have you come into me?”
He said, “I didn’t come now. I am ever there.”

I asked him, “Then why did I feel you only now and not earlier?”
He said, “It has got to do something with time. I have no answer to this.”

I asked him, “Can I see you?”
He said, “You already are.”

I told him, “But I want to see you in person.”
He said, “Treat that I am within every person you come across”.

I asked him, “How is that possible? Since I have started realizing that you are within me, knowingly or unknowingly I have begun to like you. But I do not like every person I come across!”
He said, “Exactly. I want you to love every person you come across just like you do me”.

I said, “That isn’t possible. I cannot love everybody. I am not God!”
He said, “God is love and I am love. So you are God!”

I wish I could forget

Wish to forget your eyes that shine
Wish to forget your heart so kind.

Wish to forget your charming face
Wish to forget your loving embrace.

Wish to forget your caressing words
Wish to forget those soft whispers.

Wish to forget those lovely days
Wish to forget your fiery gaze.

Wish to forget my feelings for you
Wish to forget my emotions subdued.

Wish to forget your stare that night
Wish to forget your kiss with fright.

Wish to forget our silent love
Wish to forget them all just now!

Wonder why forgetting seems so complex
Especially when it involves you!

Marriage - An Analysis

It is said and believed that matches are made in heaven. Yes, initial days of marriage make us feel so. We literally believe ourselves to be a Princess and we accept our man to be a Prince who we believe will take us to a Fairy Land where life will be a bed of roses. Soon we come down to reality and start behaving as normal couples. The euphoria of a new marriage lasts for a very short period. One year? Two years? Three years? Or until a child is born? Well, it depends. I personally know of a couple who love each other so much that they retain the same fresh and fond feeling of love for each other even today. They must have been married for more than 4 years now and are proud parents of 2 sons! They interact everyday and share the day’s events vividly and exchange opinions / suggestions. She does not do anything that her husband dislikes and vice versa. I am happy that she is still contented with her marriage. This case is an exception though.

But what is the case like in most of the marriages?I read from an US newspaper about a celebrity who divorced his wife. He said, “We have no common interest and we do not want to be with each other any more”. This person has been married for 11 years and has 3 kids – 2 sons and a daughter. It took such a long time for them to realize that they have no common interest? Though I fully understand that it will take a life time to understand a person, I still believe that it is easier to identify if we can really get along well with a person or not. Is it not? I am reminded of a joke that I came across recently where an eighty year old woman approaches an advocate to file for divorce with her 84 year old husband. The advocate was so shocked to see an eighty year old woman applying for a divorce and hence asked her, “Madam, do you want to file divorce at this age?”, to which the woman answered, “Yes. Enough is enough”. Well, intolerance can occur even in eighties!

Let me now take the case of a conventional Indian couple having differences of opinion. Here I wish to emphasize “Conventional”! They somehow try to fix up issues and make sure the society living around gets no clue of the quarrel that they hold against each other. The level of tolerance is higher in this case and hence the marriage survives. But it is true that they simply compromise and stay with each other. They agree to stay together just because they do not want to cause inconvenience to their children. But it is also true that we eventually get used to the temperament of our spouse and start accepting them as they are and discover joy in it.

The tolerance level of today’s people is very low that acceptance becomes very difficult. They believe that divorce is an option and hence opt for it and sometimes re-marry in hope of getting what they really are looking for. The second marriage in that case would be a big compromise. Many cultures approve of this idea since they hold that a life should be lived as per one’s whims and fancies. They claim that a marriage can be dissolved if the couple is not happy with each other. There is no need to cling on to the bond of marriage by compromising. Law has resources to help such people.

A popular South Indian Film Star recently divorced his wife with whom he has a 20 year old daughter. The daughter publicly announces that the decision made by her parents is an ideal one. She also added that when there is a provision called divorce, why should they ever compromise? Well, this is a justifiable answer though. The reason for divorce need not be incompatibility in this case since that will not be identified after many years of marriage. Well, some people wait for their children to get settled before they could opt for divorce. That is also possible since most of them do not want their children’s life to be spoilt as a result of their selfishness.

In most of the cases, the reason for divorce could only be a fascination towards another male or female as the case may be to whom they get attracted unknowingly and feel the intense desire of getting married to that person. But I honestly believe that there is a pleasure in accepting each other and living a life for each other rather than searching for something which could be temporary. Any kind of attraction towards a person outside of marriage may be tempting but peace is present only within the boundaries of marriage. Marriages are by and large a big compromise.

Tale as old as time

The recent movies I had watched dealt mostly with romance, relationships, violence and crazy humours. For a change, yesterday I watched Walt Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast” along with my daughters. It was a feast to my eyes. What a tale of thorough enchantment it was! Magical world, illusionary characters, imaginary castles, dreams, miraculous events, jinx of a witch, hex of the characters! The latest technologies combined with animations have made this 90 minutes movie the most enthralling experience one would ever have in life.

The story as such is a slight modification from the original version of “Beauty and The Beast”. They have probably tailored to suit the available technologies. The story in brief is as follows. A curse has been cast on a Prince living in a huge castle for having refused to give shelter to an ugly looking old beggar woman who had only a rose to offer to him. The woman remarked that one should not go by looks and that he will learn it soon. Immediately, the woman sheds her form and takes the appearance of a beautiful Princess and the Prince gets transformed into the figure of an ugly looking beast who is cursed to retain the form until he wins the love of a woman before his 21st year. The Beast confines himself in the huge castle. Because of no exposure with the outside world, he gains beastly characteristics along with the form. Belle (Beauty) enters the castle as a prisoner to save her Father who was detained by the Beast. The Beast falls in love with Belle instantly hoping that she can help him shed his ugly looking form. How he wins her love and how she transforms his beastly nature into accepted human behaviour is the story all about.

The expressions, though animations brought about by the Beast were so moving that all the three of us, literally shed tears. The Beast’s restlessness in trying to understand a woman, his keenness in finding out her likes and dislikes, his helplessness in yielding to all her likes, his expression of his love towards Belle by surprising her with a hall of books were indeed awesome. Belle’s typical lady attitude is beautifully depicted with lots of fuss in the beginning and loads of love in the end. The added innovation in this movie is that every inanimate thing in the castle like candle stick, alarm clock, tea pots, cups, cutleries and cupboards were able to communicate with each other and when the Beast’s spell was broken, they too become human. That was incredible!

In a world where human beings struggle a lot to hide their personal worries by portraying themselves to be a different person in a commercial movie, these kinds of Fairy Tales are lot more relaxing and much more convincing because they are flawless. Where it involves human beings, it requires enough number of rehearsals to make it appear unblemished in the end. The comments of the viewers may not always satisfy the performer. To enjoy a good movie, to entertain yourself thoroughly, one should watch such kind of movies which take you to a fairy land where the world is so enchanting, impressive, luxurious, magnificent, outstanding and grand and what not!! Believe me, it is a movie worth watching though it is a tale as old as time and has songs as old as rhyme!

Oh Dear Wind!

Oh turbulent wind!
Why haven’t you shown your power on me yet?
Is it because I have just bloomed?
I have been told when I was a bud that you are so ghastly
That if you wish you can, with your force, wither me down in seconds.
But why have you been so caring and kind to me
That I merrily sing and dance to your tunes?

Oh gentle wind!
Why haven’t you swayed on me for a long time now?
Is it because you no more love me?
I have heard of several flowers falling in love with you
And that you are the most fancied lover of a flower!
I have now started missing you
That I am singing melancholy!

Oh loving wind!
Why don’t you answer me yet?
Don’t you have feelings for me?
Am I just another flower to you?
Don’t you understand how special you are to me?
I can see the gardener coming to pluck me away!
My life is short and my destiny unknown
Help me out dear wind!
I do not want to adorn the bride as a garland
I do not want to lie as a wreath on a funeral
I just want to feel your breeze once more.
Sway on me my dear before I lose my life!

Withering Crimsons

Test not my patience
Play not with my emotions
Kill not with your silence
Ignore not my passion.

Teach not new lesson
Suggest not an option
Give not unique reason
Make me not feel sicken.

Feed not slow poison
Make not my heart weaken
Reveal not a heart barren
Please do not dishearten.

The Doldrums

What rules over us?
Why do we prefer to remain silent on some occasions?
don’t we carry the same temperament everyday?
What decides how we are going to behave each moment of the day?

With such ambiguity we lead our life! Once when I was in class 11, one Mr. Bernard who was a lecturer in one of the colleges in our town, gave us a brief speech on “Self Analysis”. It was a very simple and thought provoking lecture. He began with a formal introduction and soon touched the topic. He asked every one of us to remove a piece of paper. He asked us how long will it take for us to write 6 words. With great pride, all of us announced that it will take not more than 15 seconds. He was happy with the answer and asked us to write just six words – 3 good quality of ours and 3 bad qualities. We all were puzzled. For the first few seconds we all giggled over this surprising assignment. The next few seconds we thought over our good qualities. Some of them could manage to write at least one. But most of them began with bad qualities since it came out spontaneously. In fact, it exceeded the limit of 3 words.

Soon, the time limit allotted was over. He asked us if we all finished. We asked for extra time and he gave. But still I could not finish and I knew that some of my friends could not finish it too.

He asked us to retain the paper with us. He then began, “How many of you could finish them?”A hand full of students raised their hands up. He asked if any of them can get up and read them out aloud. One boy who was much younger to us got up instantly and proudly declared that his good qualities were – studying well, helping his brother in studies and running errands for his Mom and Dad. Unknowingly, we all began to clap hands. We were not able to identify our good quality which a young boy was easily able to. We were supposed to be the eldest group of students available for the lecture that day. Some of them had penned down their good qualities but were shy to write it down thinking of what others would think of them.

Mr. Bernard appreciated the boy and did not let him say the 3 bad qualities that he had written down. Well, that was not his concern. He did not come to identify the faults of each of us and suggest remedies to get rid of them. He had come there only to identify ourselves first before we begin to look at the world around.

He was so happy that at least one boy could boldly get up and speak out all about his characteristics. He turned towards us and asked us the reason why we were not able to write. We gave him no answer. He asked us if we have not understood ourselves. Well, that was true. We had not spent time to find out our best feature. We were ashamed of ourselves.

The speech then went on very well with 100% concentration contributed by all. At the end of the speech, I discussed with my friends on the lectured topic and we all made up our mind to try and discover our strength and weakness. In fact we did. Further to that, we took up one more assignment of getting rid of the negative features that we had.

My negative feature on top was mood fluctuation. I was never constant. I am still inconsistent. I am not the same always. Later on I realized that this is not my problem alone. Most of us have this problem. We do not know what decides our mood. So many pleasant happenings would have taken place. Yet we would remain dull and gloomy. We would have also remained cheerful when there has been a crisis at home. What is the factor that decides our mood and temper? I have not been able to find it out till date. I had worked out on it on several occasions. I am pretty sure that before even I could go through an unpleasant episode, my mood remains dull. I have remained silent right from the moment I have got out from bed. Can I blame the dreams for it? I remain silent for some reason beyond my knowledge. I wish to be happy and interact with people but I would not be able to make a bold attempt. This saddens me day and night and all year through. Does any one of you have a solution to this? Or do you also belong to this category? What is it that is ruling over me and thousands of other people like me?

Just One Day Please....

Oh God! Grant me just one boon. I plead not for riches and wealth. I ask not for health and longevity. I request you just one thing. I want to become a man for just ONE day. I have always envied men who lead their life as they wish. I wish to get myself transformed into a man for just one day. I promise that I will return back to my cocoon and deliver my duties soon after I am released out of my boon. If you would like to know what I wish to do if you convert me into a man, please read further.

I want to get up as late as possible and get out of the house as early as possible.
I want to demand my morning coffee and drink it leisurely as I turn the pages of the newspaper.
I want to use the bathroom as long as possible.
I want to drive a bike in full speed.
I want to get wet in rain as I ride my bike.
I want to give lift to pretty girls waiting for bus.
I want to brush my hair looking at the mirror of my bike.
I want to wear a dark sun glass and look at cute girls.
I want to propose to a girl in the most traditional way.
I want to flirt with as many girls as possible and walk away the moment they get serious.
I want to disconnect the phone when I know it is a call from my wife.
I want to go home as late as possible.
I want to have the exclusive ownership of the remote and change channels as I wish.
I want to take least notice of my wife’s whole day story at home when she describes her ordeals with home and children to me.
I want to demand the food I want to eat.
I want to talk to my friend in my cell phone unquestioningly and as long as I desire.
I want to just show my face and disappear when it comes to a function arranged by my wife’s family.
I want to invite as many friends as possible and ask my wife to cook for them.
I want to sleep undisturbed during week ends.
I want to make my wife believe that I am a teetotaler.
I want to smoke and drink to death.
I want to forget my wife’s birthday and our anniversary.
I want to freak out with friends by making my wife believe that I am out in a meeting.
I want to enjoy watching cricket with my friends.
I want to get all the privilege at home by making others believe that I have had a tough day at work.

Well my dear God! You do not know how nice it would be to be a man for a day since I need not do many things at home that I currently do. I would be enjoying absolute freedom. Do you wish to know what can I refrain from doing if I become a man? Here it goes –
I don’t have to think of what to cook for the family.
I don’t have to spend my time waking everybody up in the morning.
I don’t have to bathe my kids and get them ready to school.
I don’t have to feed them food.
I don’t have to keep their books in their bag according to their time table.
I don’t have to pack up lunch for all at home.
I don’t have to clean up the mess in the kitchen and the rest of the house.
I don’t have to list down the items required to be bought to manage the house.
I don’t have to wash the clothes, dry them up and fold and keep them in the closet.
I don’t have to iron the clothes.I don’t have to cook to fulfill everybody’s varying tastes
I don’t have to make my kids study and write.I don’t have to cry if somebody hurt my feelings.
I don’t have to solve disputes arising among my kids and my neighbors’ kids.
I don’t have to sleep late and get up early.

God! Your job was over when you created man and woman. But men have decided what a man should do and what a woman should do. They have restricted women and have allotted maximum privileges to themselves. Do I have the power to change the law and bring about a revolution? No. I don’t. Hence I give you two options – either change the law for us or grant me this boon for JUST ONE DAY please….

The Silent Trespasser

Impassive visage she often displayed
Strong ethics she ever conveyed
Youth had just brushed her away
Leaving love and lust far away

Happened to meet him accidentally
Fell capitulated instantly
Began to love him silently
But he discovered it efficiently

Cherished his spontaneous humors
Ignored all the civic rumors
Inaugurated her life of laughter
And his heart she did capture

Once I saw her waiting for him
Dressed up pretty well and trim
With a heart filled with love up to brim
Gloriously singing only his hymn

He took his elegant stride
Gently moved towards her side
Looked at her seductive eyes
Replied to it by his charming guise

Moved aside her redolent locks
That partially covered her worthy gawks
Gave no room for laughs or talks
Lifted her and made his walk

Her strength and beliefs how
Melted at his feet below?
How powerful is love!
She realized only now

I wonder how she let him in her mind
And silently touch her heart refined
Trespassed into her life without being assigned
Her heart and soul in him thus entwined.

To My Valentine

Wish to look at your eyes bright
Wish to hold your hands white
Wish to kiss your cheeks tight
Wish to sleep on your lap all night

Wish to talk to you for long
Wish to rest on your arms strong
Wish to make myself to you belong
Wish to reside in your heart life long.

Changing Emotions

“Men may come and men may go but I go on forever” is a saying that I have heard many times. I never realized the in depth meaning this saying had until yesterday when I really pondered about the people I have met so far and what they really meant to me. I am basically a friend oriented person and I attach significant importance to all my friends. If I look back and think of all the friends I had ever come across right from my early childhood days, I should say that I had expressed different kinds of feelings for each one of them since they were unique and special in their own way. But at the same time, if you ask me “who is your best friend?” the answer would be the friend whom I made last.

Undoubtedly, at every point I had to part from every friend of mine, I had displayed a variety of emotions since I could not withstand the excruciating episode of parting. Initially, I made it a point to write to them, call them once in a way and somehow stay in touch with them. But at some stage the line of separation was profusely felt since I could not reach on to them the moment I really wanted to share something. I, as a result relied on the friend within the reachable limit to share my feelings. I believe that this is the case with many of us though we fail to fully accept the fact. Friends keep changing as we move further in our life. For that matter every unnamed relationship we come across changes with the passage of time. It doesn’t remain constant. The fond memories can still be cherished and enjoyed but I bet those moments can never be re-lived. When we tend to re-live, it might turn to be less interesting contrary to what it was at the moment it was being experienced.

If you analyze the stages of a man starting from his childhood, his taste has only been varying year by year. Every Mother is a child’s first mate. It takes a long time for a child to shift his companion from Mother to a friend. The pre-school friends are easily forgotten by the kids. That is the period when the child first stays away from his home. That transition period is not easily accommodated by every child. Probably that’s the reason why the pre-school teachers who virtually mother the children become the child’s next comrade. So making friends at that point would be the child’s last option unless and until the child is extremely versatile.

I wanted to make my children’s first days at school memorable and hence I have retained the photos taken in their pre-school and have written down the names of the other kids in the photo along with the teacher’s name. I often remove the photo and ask my daughters to identify the other children in the photograph. Earlier, they used to show keen interest whenever I showed the snap to them. But these days, they seem to show less interest in it. What I could clearly make out from this is that, priority changes for everybody including a child. Every person has changing interests. As an infant, we would love to cling on to our Mother. As a toddler, we love to walk and run around to explore the world. As a child, we would love to play with toys and friends. As a young child, we would love to play with video games , TV or drawing / painting and so on. As a teenager, we would love to hang around with friends and parties and dances. As a grown up adult, we would love to read or write or talk / gossip with friends of similar wave length. This is the period when a person truly realizes the value of friendship or a relationship. This is the moment when we get stabilized and look forward to doing something serious in our life. We build up our career, we develop friendship, we decide about our future.

It should be remembered that at no point of time until here, the loss of a friend would have seriously affected us. Relationships don’t really matter until this stage. But from then onwards, we more or less understand the world and think about serious relationships like marriage. We at this particular period are considered to be highly emotional and attach predominant importance to friendship and affairs.

Take the case of a love affair – we totally rely on the relationship and decide that life is baseless if we do not transform this relationship into a marriage. We believe that there is no other person in this world whom we will be able to love more than the person whom we loved at that moment. Sometimes the affair gets materialized in the form of a marriage and sometimes gets broken and results in a marriage with some other person. What I wish to say is that we believe that life is meaningless without a person but sooner or a little later we realize that life doesn’t stop on the loss of someone. Fully understanding this truth, we sometimes feel that some relationships are stirring enough that it takes much longer time to heal. Is it not?

Any relationship be it friendship or love ceases when it is destined to. Life keeps moving forward. Nobody is indispensable. Life continues until it has to stop.

Marvelous Mystery

Early every morning as I wake my kids up, one of them always demands that I lie down with her for some time before she gets up. (The other one wants her Father to lie down with her for some time). Most of the days, I end up yielding to her request. Today was one such day when I laid down with her and whispered softly into her ears about the loads of work I had to do and how it is impossible for me to lie there with her for a longer time. Hence I requested her to get up and finish her chores quickly. More often than not, she gets up with such words of mine but today, she asked me a question that I least expected from her at that moment. She asked me, “Mama, please tell me how did I come here to this world?”

I was shocked for a moment. I tried to contemplate on the question that she asked and to finish the conversation quickly and to save the precious morning hours, I said, “You were sent to me by God.”
She did not stop there. She asked me, “Where was I before I was born and how did he send me to you?”
I said, “There are certain things that you will understand as you grow. All that you need to comprehend now is that you were sent by God to this earth. God blessed us both with you and your twin sister.”
She continued, “You once said I was born in a hospital. How did you know that I was in the hospital?”
How would I ever explain things to her? Why would I kill the innocence of a child? I simply said, “It is only with the help of doctors that kids can be born. God informed me that it is time to go to the hospital to get you both. I followed His orders and went to the hospital. That is all about it.”
She said, “Mama, but God never talks!”I was annoyed. I said in a harsher tone this time, “Swathi! Do you realize what time is it now? You better walk to the bathroom quickly and brush your teeth NOW. Rest of the questions can be asked once you come back from school. Is that clear?”
That was it. She got up and did her jobs much faster than usual.

Well, what was really wrong with what she asked? The world is a wonder to them. They need to know things only by interrogating. I had asked several question to my parents when I was a kid, who answered only some and ignored many. When my daughters raise questions to me, I feel that it is my duty to answer them by procuring data from all over the world if I don’t know the answer myself. But some questions like what she asked today really confuse me. How would I answer to her?
Some of the other questions that they had raised from time to time are as follows. Though I have answered many of them, I still am to answer quite a few of them. Here they go
Who found sky, trees, sun and the moon?
With what is a house made of?
When there are lots of river and ocean why is there a difficulty for water?
To which place does the sun go soon after it sets?
Why does the moon assume different shapes every day?
If you say moon is made of rocks don’t we have the fear that it may fall?
When a bounced ball comes back to us why don’t things like the sun, star and moon fall down?When and why does it rain?
When will my toy become real?
Who split one year into 12 months and who decided the number of days in each month?
Why there are so many languages?
Why do people die?
When I grow big, will you become small?
Will I become a boy once I grow up?
Who invented money?
Why should we work to get money?
Why did you marry?
Whom should I marry?
Why don’t you call a penguin an animal?
If God answers to prayers then why do people ever fall sick?

Though I have forgotten many of the questions that they asked, I managed to pen down at least a few so that they can join the fun as we read these questions after some years.It is indeed a lovely feeling to be a Mother and watch our kids grow. How inquisitive are they? How innocent are they? How honest are they? How wonderful are they? I wish I go back to their stage and learn everything all over again!

A Lovable Friend

Embodiment of patience
Symbol of pure love
Epithet of kindness
Sobriquet of faithfulness
Incarnation of purity
Quintessence of humility
Personification of generosity
Epitome of magnanimity
Representation of clarity
Icon of reliability
Crest of divinity
Emblem of peace
Insignia of silence
Pinnacle of all virtues.

Am I not fortunate to have a friend who is a summary of the above?Thanks Padmaja for being with me forever.

Bouquet of Remembrance

My mouth can be shut
My hands can be tied
Not my mind that
Linger in your thoughts.

You may erase my reminiscences
You may forget my fragrance
Not my memories that
May appear in your dreams.

Your photos can be deleted
Your videos can be destroyed
Not your image that
Is deeply engraved in my heart.

You may discard my feelings
You may disregard my emotions
But my words of love I believe
You will ever cherish.

Love, Lovelier, Loveliest Love

Love pains
Love contains
Love blinds
Love maligns

Love relieves
Love bereaves
Love perceives
Love deceives

Love captives
Love capsizes
Love heals
Love appeals

Love retrieves
Love achieves
Love reads
Love succeeds

Love gives
Love forgives
Love receives
Love believes

Love creates
Love dictates
Love destroys
Love deploys

Love explains
Love sustains
Love submits
Love commits

Love separates
Love unites
Love rejuvenates
Love illuminates

Love is bliss
Never amiss.

Why Can't I Think Beyond HIm?

Paused for a moment at the mirror
Glanced at HIS face very clear.
Gazed at the shimmering stars above
That held only his vision thorough.
Listened to the oft heard soft music
That seemed to be extremely melancholic.

He taught me to laugh and enjoy my life
But today he put my life in strife.
He educated me to live my passion
Won't he understand that he was my obsession?
Ask me not to define the relationship
‘Coz it ended even before the courtship.

What he meant to me I realized hardly
Until he refused to accept my feelings bluntly.
Yes, my love is lost and he is gone
From my mind and soul withdrawn.
Tell me why can’t I think beyond him?
When he can live life as per his whim?

Fulfilled Dream

It was a cold winter night. It was time for the maid to leave. As she opened the door, she saw a tall man wearing a long coat standing in front of the door just about to knock at it. She looked inquisitively at him. He smiled at her and asked, “Does Grace live here?”
“Yes. She lives in this house.” She replied softly.
“I want to see her”, said the man.
“Can I know who you are?” asked the maid.
“Tell her that it is John.”
The maid was getting suspicious over the man. She asked the man to stay outside. She locked the door and rushed to Grace. Grace was almost about to doze when the maid ran to her up the stairs and said, “Madam, do you know a man named John?”
Grace squeezed her eyes open and said, “No. I don’t.”
“I guessed as much”, said the maid.
“Why what happened?” asked Grace curiously.
“A tall man with moustache and hat, with a cigar in his hand, who must be in his mid seventies, enquired about you and said he wants to meet you”, said the maid.
“Let him meet me Nancy.”Nancy paused.
“Are you scared?” asked Grace.
“Yes I am. You are alone here in this house and I am about to leave now. I am worried”, said Nancy.
“What can he get out of a 70 year old woman Nancy? Let me come down to meet him.”

Nancy helped Grace step down the stairs. Grace asked Nancy to open the door. John entered in. He came close to Grace. He looked at her from head to toe and asked delicately, “Are you well Grace?”
“Yes I am but…..” Grace paused.
“Don’t you remember me yet?” asked John.
Grace removed her glasses and went closer to John and squeezed her eyes to see him clearly. “I am sorry Sir. Did we know each other?” asked Grace softly.
“Grace! I never thought you could forget me” said John.
Grace felt bad for her weak memory but she was helpless. She said, “I am sorry Sir. But please have a seat.”

John sat down. Grace asked, “Can you tell me how you know me? Are you David’s relative?”
John put his hands into his coat and pulled out an envelope. He handed it over to Grace. Grace put on her glasses again to see what it is. Grace opened the cover and removed a photo – a photo of her and John taken 40 years back. She saw herself decked in a bright blue dress and John in a black suit. The photo was taken when the two were partying on John’s birthday. Tears accumulated into Grace’s eyes. She sat down near John and wept.
“How could I forget you? I am an absent minded old woman” cried Grace. Nancy came closer and asked Grace softly, “Madam is he known to you?”
“Yes Nancy. You may please leave. He is well known to me”, said Grace.
Nancy grabbed her bag and disappeared from the scene.Grace continued weeping. John went closer and comforted her.
Grace cried, “How could I forget you John?”
“That’s ok Grace. It has been many years since we met. Now we are old-very old”, said John comfortingly.
“How did you find my house?” asked Grace.
“Well, that was simple. I accidentally met your son few days back when I had been to his bank and when we had a lengthy conversation, I understood that he is your son. I wished I had met him long time back. I thought he must have told you about this”, narrated John.
“No he did not. He in fact called me today only to say that I am invited to the party that he is hosting tomorrow on the occasion of his 15th wedding anniversary”, said Grace.
“So you will be attending the party with him tomorrow?” asked John.
“Yes. I am leaving tomorrow with Nancy” said Grace. Grace continued, “Now tell me about you John. How is your wife? Where are your children?” asked Grace.
“Well, my wife is still with me. She is suffering from many illnesses like sugar, asthma, and what not? Old age issues! We have to live with it. My children are spread out in different parts of the world. I get reminded of them only on occasions when they call me without fail. They are all grown ups leading their own life. And mine is all over”, said John. A minute of silence passed. John continued, “I have come to fulfill one wish of yours.”
“What is that?” asked Grace curiously.
“When I met your son and obtained your address, I instantly was reminded of the request that you made to me several years back”, said John.
Grace leaned forward and asked John, “I am interested to know what request I made with you?”
With a sigh, John continued, “You wanted me to take you out on a date on the Valentine’s Day. Do you remember?
”“Yes I do. I do. It was that period when David was alive and I was too scared to be involved with you considering David’s temperament. Well, I still had a nice time secretly talking and writing to you.” said Grace with a smile on her face. She laughed after that and said, “Silly dreams and fantasies. I was unshakably attracted over you then”, said Grace.
“Then? So you mean you are no longer attracted towards me”, asked John.
Both had a hearty laugh at this. After a long time they both had a great talk with no fear or worry. The love that did not bloom because of each other’s familial commitment seems to be re born again at this stage.
“Grace, your unfulfilled wish will be fulfilled tomorrow. We both are going to have a ball at the “Palace” restaurant tomorrow. Remember it is Valentine’s Day tomorrow”, said John.
“John! I have to go to attend my son’s wedding anniversary party tomorrow”, said Grace.
John said, “When David was alive, you were scared of him. Now you are afraid of his son?”
Grace smiled, “I am not afraid of my son John. But it is my commitment. I have to go.”
“Well, that is all from my side. I will meet you tomorrow at 6 pm in the restaurant. I will be waiting for you there. I have to go back to my wife tomorrow before midnight. She has none to look after her. I have come here just for you. Just to fulfill your dream. I do not know if I will be alive until the next Valentine’s Day”, said John.
Grace was silent. She was confused. John got up from his seat. He said, “It is too late and I had my medicine too. I got to leave now else I will doze off here itself.”
“You may stay here John. Where do you think you are going in this cold night?” said Grace.“I am staying in a motel just outside the city. I got to go. In fact I have come with a gentleman who works for the hotel and who is waiting in the car. I cannot let him like that. Let us meet tomorrow Grace”, said John.
John took the photo back from her and soon left.

Grace sat back again. She was not sure if she can afford to miss her son’s anniversary party. She stretched herself in the couch. She closed her eyes and thought about the days she spent with John. It was a secret affair that she had with him which she had not disclosed to anybody. It was just once that the two met outside on the eve of John’s birthday when the picture was taken. She remembered how deeply she loved John. The relationship lasted only for a very brief period and it was automatically terminated when David moved to another place. Several years passed and still those thoughts about John took Grace to a different world. She felt very light and relieved and shed tears of joy. She considered herself to be 50 years younger. She closed her eyes without deciding which place to go to the next day.

Nancy opened the door with the key that she always carried and saw Grace sleeping on the couch. She was concerned. She came closer and softly spoke to Grace, “Madam! Are you okay?”
Grace quickly got up and said, “Nancy? Oh is it morning?”
Nancy said, “Yes.” She repeated, “Are you okay?”
“Yes I am”, said Grace and climbed up to her room. Grace picked up the phone. She held it for a long time deciding whether to call her son or not. Finally she decided to call her son.“Hello”, said Grace’s son.
“Happy Anniversary my son”, wished Grace merrily.
“Thanks Mom! Hope you are getting ready to attend the party. I shall be sending my car in 2 hours’ time. Be ready to come here Mom.”
“Son, I have got to tell you something.”
“What’s that Mom?”“Well, Son. I eh.. hmmm.. will not be able to come to the party today.”
“Why Mom? Are you okay?”
“Yes I am. But I have another party to attend.”
“But didn’t I inform you well ahead of time?”
“Yes my son. But something important came up in between. An old friend of mine who”
“No Mom”, interrupted her son. “You are coming here. I am sending my car right away”.
“Wait son. I got to attend the party here. I am sorry. I will indeed miss your party but I will come there tomorrow and watch the cassette with you all. Is that okay?”
“No. It is not.”
“Then I am sorry my son. Please do not expect me today”, said Grace and replaced the phone.
Grace sighed. She dressed up quickly and had a quick breakfast that Nancy prepared. She requested Nancy to accompany her for shopping. Grace went to buy a new dress for herself. As she went out to the mall after a long time, she saw how beautiful the city looked. It had been years since she crossed that way. She looked at the people around. There were many flower stalls that sold fresh flowers like hot cakes. It was a festive occasion. It was Valentine’s Day. She saw the faces of bright men and women. She saw some couples walking together. She saw some men and women waiting in desperation for their loved ones. She looked around. She smelt a new air of love filled everywhere. Even the little birds seemed to celebrate the day. She was feeling joyous inwardly. She entered into a shop and checked for gowns that would fit her. She was very choosy that day. She wanted something bright and radiant. She finally picked up a dazzling red dress. Nancy wondered what it is all about. She had no clue of what was happening with Grace. She simply accompanied her raising few questions of which only some were answered by Grace. She then went in search of ornaments matching the colour of her dress. She then looked for a pair of glove and slippers. She then stepped into a nearby parlour to trim her hair. She was not bothered about the young ladies gathered there. She proudly got some facial massage done after which she reached home. Nancy was wonder struck and perplexed too.Grace received calls from her daughter in law and grand daughter who requested her to consider attending their party but she candidly refused.

Soon it was time for Grace to get ready and leave for the restaurant. She came out dressed like a queen. Nancy was spell bound. Grace indeed looked pretty. She ingenuously refused Nancy’s assistance that day to the event. She called for a cab and went to the restaurant unaccompanied.

John was seen waiting there at the said time. He saw Grace getting down the car. He ran to her and gently held her gloved hands and led her to the ball room. John was simply amazed at her charm. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Even at this age she looked pretty to his eyes. He kept gazing at her for a long time. Grace saw love in his eyes and she blushed with a smile. She couldn’t stand the power generated from his eyes that day. As the couple entered the ball room, many seated there stood up from their seats without their knowledge. They were probably astonished to see an old couple there to celebrate the occasion. It could be as a mark of respect to them. Both enjoyed the moment. John comfortably seated Grace on a seat and extended a bouquet to her and proposed to her thus, “Will you be my Valentine?”
Grace accepted the bouquet with a shy and said, “Yes”.
After a serving of wine, both got up together for a dance. They fixed their eyes at each other and danced. They danced and danced. They danced for a long time. The music was so soothing and romantic that the couple overlooked the world outside them. They forgot about each other’s roles and responsibilities in their life. They failed to remember what age they were in at that moment. They simply danced. Danced to their heart’s content. After a prolonged session of dance, they both paused. They then realized that they were the only two seen dancing. The group of people gathered there clapped their hands. Both were enthralled. They sat down again to have their dinner. It was an unforgettable incident in their life.John was simply lost at her elegance even at this age. He was staring at her throughout. When they were about to finish their dinner John asked Grace, “Can I kiss you?”Grace gave a silent approval. John drew Grace closer to him and kissed her. He kissed and kissed. He passionately kissed. He revealed all his love for her with those gentle kisses. He then gave her a small gift which he said should be opened only after she reached home.Grace gathered a few drops of tears in her eyes and said, “John. Thanks for everything. Thanks for fulfilling my dream which I had almost forgotten.”Grace then gave John the gift that she had bought for him. It was a tie pin studded with diamonds. John was happy to receive the thoughtful gift from her.

It was 10 pm. It was time for John to leave. Both got into a cab. John decided to drop her home and then leave to his place. Both traveled together. They held each other’s hands tightly. Grace bent her head on his heavy shoulders. She felt light again. She was happy.John said in a soft voice, “I am glad you came and made my evening pleasant and enjoyable. Today is that day which I can never forget in my life. It would have been a tough decision for you to decide between me and your son. I am glad that you chose me. We had in fact celebrated the evening with no fears in mind and with no guilt in heart. We are not answerable to anybody. We are not dependent on anybody. We are free. We are pure. We are love.”
Grace said, “Yes John. I have never been happier in my life before. Not even on those days when we were together years back. This is a memorable event in my life. Thanks for that John. Thanks a lot.”
Grace dozed for a moment in his caring shoulders. John picked up a small piece of paper and wrote a note to Grace and pinned it along with the gift.Soon it was time for Grace to get down. “Grace, I got to go. My wife is alone. I will come back again to meet you. I have kept a piece of paper with my address in it on the gift that you are carrying. Call me if need be. I need to go now”, said John.Grace’s heart was heavy. She did not want to part from him. She wanted to hold his arms and cry and she did it. John comforted her, “Didn’t we have a great time?”
Grace said “Yes we did”.“Keep thinking about it until we meet next”, said John.
She got down gently, gave a departing kiss to John and got into her house. Nancy was waiting for her. Grace asked Nancy to leave. Grace turned on some music. She sat on her rocking chair and opened the gift that she received. Much to her surprise, there were two framed photographs. One was the photo that the two had taken 40 years back and the other one was a photo taken that day when the two were dancing. It was framed in a beautiful decorated wooden board. The paper that was pinned along with the wrapper read as follows:

When my life was fertile
Your lips were dry
When my living is barren
Your lips are moist.

When my arms extended
Your body escaped from it
When my shoulders are withered
Your body is resting on it.

My love for you then was strong
My love for you now is stronger
Let us meet again in our life
Will you then be my wife?

His address and phone number was furnished below those beautiful verses. Grace wept heavily after reading those verses. Her tears settled down in a while. She removed her glasses. She then looked at the framed photos again and again. She rocked. She then closed her eyes and then rocked again. Within a moment, rocking stopped. She slept to eternity.

Luscious Moments

Blushing smiles
Laughing cries
Walking miles
Thoughtless flies

Apathetic wealth
Maintaining stealth
Waning health
Holding breath

Quivering fire
Scorching river
Losing vigour
Return my cheer

Lost in thoughts
Dreaming lots
Planning plots
For the wedding knots

All that I aspire
Is you my esquire
Please come closer
And osculate forever.

Chimera

The moment our thoughts were connected
My mind and spirit were suddenly affected

Listen to the language of my heart beat
And tell me what does it say and repeat

Rewound the instant when you uttered my name
Wondered if it sounds as beautiful as u say!

Is love as dumb and blind as people aver
Will the sensation remain in me forever?

Dance did we in sheer trance‘
Coz in reality we barely get a chance

Relieve me from this arcane situation
‘Coz I see just you even in meditation

Do you go through the same situation as I?
Or is this only a silly illusion of mine?

Silence, Silence and Me

Doomed are some in this world
To let their tears flood their way
Let my eyes bathe in tears and blood
To plead for all that happened in dismay

Struggle did I to bring out my feeling
Suppressed were they in every meeting
Understood your gentle expressions
Helplessly stood with immense patience

Utilized your help when wounded
Returned it not when you wanted
Trouble did I with all my silence
Responding to you only with my presence

You poured to me all the sympathy on earth‘
Coz I am dumb since my birth
But attempt to live my life once in prudence
And enjoy the day with me in silence

With your eyes and attention fixed at me
Talk to me at length in the language of silence
Try to understand the expression of love
And gently feel the vibration of calmness

Accomplished, tongues can be tied for the rest of our life
Did you know that words convey nonsense?
When tranquility can do wonders?
Haven't you understood the life of a dumb woman yet?