Random Musings

Heart Vs. Mind

Lured was I to taste those juicy fruits in the vineyard

Touch did I with the genuine appetite to devour them

Prevent did my mind that demanded a justification for my hunger

Struggle did I to distinguish between temptation and necessities

My mind repudiated my inclination to savour the alluring fruits

Isn’t life always like this?

Heart and mind can never get united. Mind always wins.

I still didn’t taste the tormenting fruit.


Eyes Vs. Words

Your eyes have never hurt me like what your words did.

Do you wonder why I still care for you even after those harsh words?

Keep assuming until I work out an answer for it.

But the truth is that I am not able to forget those moments I had with your eyes.

Powerful were your eyes. Haven’t I spoken enough about it?

The ruthless words turned insignificant when compared to the strength of your eyes.


Thought Transference

While together, I can easily pass my heart’s messages to you through my eyes.

I am wedged with only one option now - The fastest and the most inexpensive form of communicating - ‘telepathy’

But you don’t seem to reciprocate even after the volumes of messages that I sent to you!

Any technical problem? Or were you not in a position to acknowledge?


Mr. Unique?

Did you want to establish that you are different from the others?

How could you manage to escape with that mesmerizing smile and seducing glances?

Why didn’t you try to express and win?

Could you manage to touch only the heart?


The ‘J’ Factor

Can the river rejoice merrily that the sun is shining on it?

The flowers, oceans, fields, snow and butterflies are equally happy.

Doesn’t the river have the right to grow jealous over the others?

Do you still want to know who is the Sun and who is the river?


Who are you?

You are in every question that I ask myself

You are the answer to every question I think of.

You are the reason for my grief

And you are the remedy for my sorrows

You have a role every time I dream.

Though you are an integral part of my ideal life

It is sad to learn that you cannot be a part of my absolute life.


Hiatus

Did the period of lull speak anything at all to you?

Well, it conveyed lots to me.

It asked me “when is the revival?”

The Drama

She did not know how it commenced
But as it began, it ignited a steady flame of obsession within her.

She did not know how it sustained
But as it continued, it splashed a gush of cool waves all over her.

She did not know how it got severed
But as it got disconnected, it tossed her into an ocean of misery.

She did not know how it convalesced
But as it recovered, it made her descend into a bundle of philosophies.

She has no idea as to where it stands now.
She has no clue as to how she would react to it again.
But she seems to have enjoyed that little segment of play in her life.

What am I Crying About?

This trip to India has really been memorable so far. I call it ‘memorable’ for plenty of reasons. But the primary reason is that I began to realize that I have no problems as such and if I want I can make my life happier. I am blessed that way. This time, I met many people who instilled some strong thoughts in my mind that may not fade away at all. There were some incidents that imbibed some feelings onto me. I have penned down some of the incidents that shook me.



As I was walking out of the restaurant one evening, I saw a young boy approaching me with plenty of agarbathis (incense sticks) in his hands. He looked smart, bright and energetic, tidy and much presentable. I presume he must be around 13 years of age. He marketed pretty well to sell at least one of those packets to me. I was simply stunned at his selling abilities. I felt sorry for the kind of situation he was in, where he had to sell and make money at an age when most of the other boys of the same age would be enjoying their school days with their friends. Boys of this age in the west would have initiated their dating deals with young girls. What kind of pressure is this boy in! How will I feel if my daughter is in such a position? I just couldn't imagine such a scenario. I immediately opened my purse, pulled out a note and gave it to the boy. He was very happy. He asked me which one I wanted. I did not have an answer. After a moment of silence, I told him, “Give me the one that gives the best fragrance”. He picked up one and handed it over to me and searched for change. Unwilling to get the balance, I asked him to keep the change with him. Probably that would help him take care of a meal.



In my neighbourhood, there is a family who has an 18 year old mentally challenged daughter. I get to see her almost everyday at the park when I take my daughters there. She merrily plays in the swing along with my daughters. I often fancied the happiness in her smile when she swings. She derives some unique joy perhaps, when she swings like a small child. I was troubled to learn that she is not like any of the others. She talks to herself sometimes and also laughs heartily for no reason. I was simply wondering what would be going through her mind. In one way, I feel they are free from the hardships that a common man goes through. But the other aspect is the difficulty for the people taking care of such a child. Her parents are very loving to her and they treat her like a 5 year old child. To me she looked very beautiful. One day in the park, as I saw her swinging merrily, I just thought for a moment, “How nice it would be if she had been a normal kid. She would have been one of the most beautiful girls in the college that every guy would love to date with!” As I thought about her, she beckoned to me and said, “Aunty! You look too beautiful.” I was shocked for a moment. I softly said, “Thank you. You too look very beautiful.” She smiled and walked away. What does beauty mean to her? What did she find in me? I feel I am in no way close to the beautiful features that she had. Did she find out that I was thinking about her or was it purely co-incidental that she too opened the same subject that I thought about? I don’t know.



One evening, I had been to shopping with my daughters when I met one of my old bus friends. We traveled by the same bus everyday. The last time I met her was probably 13 years back. She was the first to recognize me. There were lots of changes in our appearances. She remarked that I had accumulated enough weight. She too had put on weight, but the most significant change in her was her hair cut. She had a boy cut. She had lovely hair. I was curious to know the reason for this kind of a hair cut. She said that once when her daughter suffered from accidental burns, she was in a critical condition and was admitted in a hospital. She had, at that time prayed to God that she would sacrifice her hair if her daughter recovers. Fortunately, her daughter recovered completely from the burns. As promised, she sacrificed her hair to the Lord. Her hair had just begun to grow and that is why it looked like she had a boy cut. I am of the belief that God, the Giver, doesnt' expect or require anything from us. Sacrificing animals, hair and jewellery are part of the culture that I am in. I personally do not beleive in bribing God that way but her audacity to compromise with her looks for the sake of her daughter was amazing to me. Will I be willing to shave my head off like her at any point of time for anybody in my life? I had felt that my love towards people had been silent and deep but now I see people revealing profound love and not at all making big fuss about it. I began to wonder if there is any meaning at all for the love I claim to carry for the people around me. What will I be willing to do for them if they end up in a crisis?



I had been on a short trip to Bangalore along with my husband. As we were driving into the outskirts of the IT hub of south India, I noticed many people leading their families on one corner of the road. They had constructed a small tent to protect them from rain and heat. That is all. There were no bedrooms or drawings rooms or kitchen. In a world where technology is highly advanced and in a place that is getting highly sophisticated, these people are living in ignorance. What a contrast! They do menial jobs and earn their living. They let their children to work too. Some beg and earn money. They are not aware of the IT boom or about computers or about the latest inventions or about the corruption going around or about the sale going on or about the beautiful landscapes around their city. They are probably happy in their own world. Is ignorance bliss?