Attraction

Seated am I in the embers of love
with unuttered words
and a heart that is desperate
to surrender itself to where it belongs.

Dying every moment to be born again
to clear the tarnished thoughts
that keeps recollecting the flickers of
those pleasurable moments.

I am just a mortal stuffed with feelings
for the anonymous lover
who made me realize instantly
that I possess a body that isn’t mine.

In the quest of knowing more about him,
I lost all the knowledge that I acquired.
The honesty as it seems through his eyes
is the only guide I have about him.

He rocks in my berserk mind
as a champion; as a passionate lover; as a shaman.
My wide eyes rarely blink as he
snatched my sleep and replaced it with dreams.

Who is he?
Why this aberration in my mind?
An untamed force confiscated all in me leaving behind
just a state of delight encompassing grief.

A stranger is he to me and not to my heart.
His absence means nothing to me but pains my heart.
A frontier is he between me and my heart
thus making me lose my original identity.

Astonishing is this theory of magnetism
unspoken of by renowned scientists
that a heart is capable of getting magnetically
attracted to its counter part located miles away!

Goodbye, my friend!

I am mourning today. I am mourning the death of my friend. I was informed about the news through a mail. I read the mail several times to make sure if I have read it right since I was unwilling to see her name there. But it was true. She died. She shed her body behind and escaped to the unknown world where I will never be able to locate her. She escaped to eternity leaving behind only memories for her loved ones to cherish.

I first met her, if I remember right in April 2006 in Coimbatore. She was our new neighbour there. My stay in India that year prolonged up to 6 months. That was when due to boredom, I met her more often and soon our relationship bloomed. We soon became very good friends. She was two years elder to me but yet unmarried. Neighbours quoted different reasons about her state of being unmarried since she had, by Indian standards, crossed the marriageable age. I was not curious to know the reason. I sincerely felt that she would disclose the reason to me if it was necessary for me to know. But neither did she confess nor did I probe into that issue. That was probably the strength of our relationship. We shared a unique bond without expecting anything from each other.

We have roamed around the city on a few occasions. We have shopped together. We even purchased 2 pairs of the same ear ring as a mark of our friendship. We have sat down in the club house during late hours just to relax and have a nice chat. We have strolled together plucking leaves of strange trees and discussing about the uniqueness of every leaf for hours together. We have merrily played in the swing together forgetting that we are grown up adults. We have watched movies together. We have even dined together. But not even on one occasion did she tell me about the dreadful disease that she carried for 6 ½ years. I came to know about it only today that she was suffering from Pulmonary Hypertension for the past few years. I was shocked to hear it today since I had absolutely no idea about it till date. But if only she had told about that to me, I would have very cautiously ridden her through the roads of Coimbatore in my bike. People suffering from such disease as PH are likely to experience shortness of breath. God! With a crazy driver like me, how many times she would have felt uncomfortable! Poor lady! But she must have had her own reasons not to disclose about that to me. True! If she had revealed the truth, my behaviour towards her would have been more sympathetic than loving. Such people do not require sympathy. They need only genuine care and attention. And that was exactly what she got from me.

I spoke to her family members this morning. What a bad start of a new year for them! They must have been going through hell now. I was also shattered after talking to them. What pain she must have gone through! What would have been running through her mind when she breathed her last?

Now looking at the entire episode in a different dimension, I think I should only be happy for her since she has been permanently relieved from this disease. It can no longer cause her pain. She need not suffer anymore. She can sleep peacefully and blissfully.

My dear friend, you are blessed. Know that I love you which I did not tell when you were alive. Be aware that I cared for you always. And above all, I prayed for you – for your evolution into higher planes of life. You were a nice person and I miss you. The gates of life’s destiny are open for me too and I am sure that we would meet some time. Farewell to you my friend!