Nostalgic Diwali

The festival of lights has been wrongly celebrated as the festival of sound in India. The eve of Diwali is absolutely mind blowing. Streets are filled with kids bursting crackers making it difficult for people to walk or drive. Auto rickshaw guys drive through the burning crackers without a fuss whereas two wheelers will have to wait until the crackers burst completely. A big grand sale would be announced in most of the textile shops. Even the poorest of the poor buy a new dress for this day. Schools declare holidays for a day or two. If it is accompanied by a week end, schools get a couple of days more. Bonus will be announced in all the companies which mean more money to celebrate the ostentatious festival.Diwali was one of the festivals celebrated with grand opulence in our house. I still remember as a young girl how I used to anxiously wait for this festival to literally burn out my parents’ money. The main interest was only in bursting crackers. Contrary to the other working days, I get up unusually at 3 or 3.30 in the morning and still remain fresh throughout the day. My Mother will invite me and my sister to sit on a wooden plank (called as a palaga in our language) in which she would have drawn rangoli (kolam). My Mother will apply haldi, kumkum on our hands legs and face. She will then apply oil on the head. The oil is freshly extracted sesame seeds oil which is heated along with pepper, cumin seeds, and dry ginger. The aroma of that oil still lingers in my memory. It is meant for cooling the entire body and the bath after that is thoroughly refreshing.

Betel leaves and nuts are also served on that day in empty stomach for girl children. In the normal course, betel leaves are prohibited from eating since it makes the tongue thicker by which talking properly might turn out to be difficult. I had always fancied betel leaves and nuts since it turns my tongue into red colour. On the day of Diwali eating betel leaves is a compulsory issue and hence I love eating it. My sister on the other hand, hates the very taste of it and I would be very happy to have her share too secretly without Mom’s knowledge.

After Ganga snanam and sambrani (an incense stick which has a property of drying and perfuming the hair) for the hair, we will be asked to wear our new dress. We offer our respect to the elders and wear our new dress. My Mother gives me some gold jewellery too to wear on that day since most of the time for Diwali, the dress used to be Pattu Pavadai (a traditional silk-woven long skirt and blouse in vibrant colours). I do not spend much time in front of the mirror as I always do when I wear a new dress. The only hurry is to start bursting crackers. My sister is seen dressing up patiently and asking each one in the family as to how her dress looks like. But my tensions were totally different. After the bath, the first thing to be served used to be Diwali lehiyam. It is a home made medicine to help digestion. Lots of sweets and savouries will be prepared that day, the excessive consumption of which might cause a stomach upset. Keeping in mind the proverb, “Prevention is better than cure”, this medicine is given usually in advance. The medicine consists of ginger, jaggery, cumin seeds, ghee and stuff which taste yummy.

A traditional sweet called Okkarai is also prepared that day (it is made out of dal and jaggery with ghee). It tastes great too. Before finishing these formalities, I am not allowed to start bursting crackers. I wait for the procedure to get over so that I can rush to burst crackers with my friends. We wish our neighbours a Happy Diwali and begin our competition. The aim is to accumulate huge amount of dust in front of the house. Whoever accumulates the most would be the winner. We start with Mathappu (sparklers) since it would be nice to see the bright light coming out of it before sun rise. It is followed by Ground chakra, flower pot, snake and the like. Mom and Grandma give me enough warning to take care of my dress while playing with fire. It just goes to deaf ears. It is luck that I was not injured in anyway with this game of fire but if I think of the careless attitude I had at those times, I get really scared now. My Mom often says, “Ilam Kanru bayam ariyadhu” which means the young cow (calf) does not know what fear is like. My parents come to the verandah to see the sparkling flower pots and ground chakra that I play with. My sister’s job is to show her Diwali dress to my neighbours and disappear. She is very scared of the noise that the crackers burst. So I end up to be the only one to play with them to my heart’s content.

I have noticed that during most of the Diwali days, it rains. If not a heavy rain atleast drizzling is assured. All my friends get assembled in front of the respective houses and we start our project. We usually start bursting crackers even prior to Diwali but I usually reserve the big wala garland for this day to accumulate maximum number of paper in front of the house. Hydrogen bombs, atom bomb, lakshmi bomb, taj mahal wala garland were the few that I was interested in bursting. For nearly 2-3 hours, I get involved in doing this stuff. Constant calls from home to have breakfast could be heard. We give a temporary break and go to have breakfast. Breakfast would be a big feast that day. We get to see lots of sweets and savouries – Mysurpa, Laddu, Burfi, Murukku, Thattai, Ribbon Bakoda, Mixture and the like. If you just taste them, your stomach would be full but apart from all these, Mom will offer idli (a traditional south Indian breakfast which is made with a batter of ground and fermented rice and urad dal) chutney and the like. I have very little of it and run again outside to finish the rest of my task. Mom will insist that I change my dress and remove my jewellery. Usually another new dress will also be bought for Diwali other than Pattu Pavadai. I comfortably wear the other dress and run outside. All my friends get gathered and start again. I will get disrupted in between when my parents call me every now and then to wish all my uncle, aunts and cousins through phone. I run, have a quick word and come back again. The whole day used to be great fun.

We have our lunch in between and then when the elders lay down to rest I start again. My friend who stays a little away comes to meet me and wish me a Happy Diwali. She used to join me in bursting some crackers. We both used to light up an incense stick and keep it inside our mouth for a while and then remove it and enjoy seeing the smoke emitted from our mouth. We dared not to touch a cigarette but were fancied on seeing the smoked produced from our mouth.

In the evening again, we used to start with mathappu, ground chakra and flower pot and enjoy at those fire works in the dark sky. All our friends used to get worried that the day is about to end. We still make up our mind that we reserve some of the crackers for the festival of karthigai that comes the following month. But still the happiness seen during Diwali is not present in any other festivals.

The next day we analyse and announce the result of the winner based on the dust accumulated by way of bursting crackers in their respective houses.It was great fun to be with friends and burst crackers those days. What an innocent life that was! Will it ever come back? Will my daughters ever be able to celebrate Diwali like this? My daughters are 5 years old and they have never seen even a single Diwali celebrated in India. Sometimes I feel that I am depriving them of the independence that I had obtained years back. I had great fun with my friends. Every day we used to get gathered and play. My daughters are confined to the four walls within the house, spending time among them and playing with the toys by giving them imaginary names.

Diwali to me today means nothing great. My parents celebrate it alone. My sister celebrate it with her family in the US and I celebrate it with my family here in Bahrain. What a Diwali it was years back with lots of laughter and loads of fun! Will it ever come back? Will I still be able to have the same kind of feeling even if I celebrate it in India? I doubt though.