I am being followed and I am sensitive to it. It is irritating but inevitable. Neither can I hide nor can I escape. From the moment I wake up it stays with me with its ugly amorphous form. It is worse than a shadow since it follows me even at night. It makes me more conscious though others cannot see it. It is a nasty feeling to see it always beside me.
I sat down and contemplated to find out how and when it began; more so when did I evidently began realizing its presence. I understood that it all started the moment I lost my innocence, the moment I gave a fake smile, the moment I spoke untruth, the moment I fell as a victim to flattery, the moment I lost trust in others, the moment I formed opinions…….The list is endless. I realized it following me very recently when I finished my assignment of reviewing myself.
What could be the connection? There is a subtle link as scriptures always quoted. The nebulous substance that followed me is nothing but the results of my own actions. What can I do to get rid of this stuff? There is not much I can do about it. In the equation of life, two minus signs does not become a plus. Hats off to Him for His constant vigil over every act of the universe! The most interesting part here is that, though I am just a speck in this massive cosmos, I am also being watched. Shouldn’t I call myself blessed? And the good news is that we all are!
When I can notice the shadows of my past cruising around me, why can’t I notice the splendour of His creation encircling me? It is now time to act genuine by throwing away the cases of artificiality and stepping into the realms of integrity. What cannot be fixed can only be thrown. So let me begin my journey to gaze at the brilliance of the movement of every atom of the universe instead of concentrating on silly pleasures. Let me watch every step of mine before He does so that the shadows of my dark don’t get too heavy.
I sat down and contemplated to find out how and when it began; more so when did I evidently began realizing its presence. I understood that it all started the moment I lost my innocence, the moment I gave a fake smile, the moment I spoke untruth, the moment I fell as a victim to flattery, the moment I lost trust in others, the moment I formed opinions…….The list is endless. I realized it following me very recently when I finished my assignment of reviewing myself.
What could be the connection? There is a subtle link as scriptures always quoted. The nebulous substance that followed me is nothing but the results of my own actions. What can I do to get rid of this stuff? There is not much I can do about it. In the equation of life, two minus signs does not become a plus. Hats off to Him for His constant vigil over every act of the universe! The most interesting part here is that, though I am just a speck in this massive cosmos, I am also being watched. Shouldn’t I call myself blessed? And the good news is that we all are!
When I can notice the shadows of my past cruising around me, why can’t I notice the splendour of His creation encircling me? It is now time to act genuine by throwing away the cases of artificiality and stepping into the realms of integrity. What cannot be fixed can only be thrown. So let me begin my journey to gaze at the brilliance of the movement of every atom of the universe instead of concentrating on silly pleasures. Let me watch every step of mine before He does so that the shadows of my dark don’t get too heavy.
2 comments:
Beautifully written article, Latha.
Every speck has a meaning, value, purpose and divinity. So, never we are alone. My best wishes to you.
Latha,
As I read the second paragraph on here, it stuck me that you are a gifted human being. You have a gift of words. A gift of thought. And a gift of how to put your thought into really meaningful words. You make even me think. See?
I really urge you and request you to make use of this talent. Please start writing a manuscript. Pick anything that is close to your heart and start writing about it. I want to see that someday in the next few years. (I'll give you a little time :))
Hoping to buy the first copy of your book soon,
Anu
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